Modern Vampires

The subversive, super-hip television show Buffy, the Vampire Slayer has changed the bloodsucking genre forever. Hilariously campy and self-aware, the show cleverly sends up every exhausted convention the vampire genre has to offer. It was only a matter of time before someone tried translating the same tone to the big screen (the Buffy film failed miserably before becoming a show). As written by Matthew Bright ( Freeway ) and directed by Richard Elfman ( Forbidden Zone ), the silly and seditious Modern Vampires tries a similar tongue-in-cheek approach, flipping the focus instead to the vampires. Sure, it's shameless, it's cheesy, but it's also much more entertaining than, say, the heavy-handed Blade . The filmmakers set the genre piece in Los Angeles, a city cynical and violent enough to allow vampires to roam without much notice. The Hollywood lifestyle has influenced these vampires, though, as they stage elaborate parties where nude humans are kept in cages and carted out for main courses ("Is he Italian? I was wanting Italian tonight!"), as well as feast on the likes of screenwriters, producers, and entertainment lawyers (talk about bloodsuckers). In terms of plot, not much is going on here. A very serious and driven Dr.Frederick Van Helsing (Rod Steiger) arrives in L.A., from Germany, in search of Dallas (Casper Van Dien of Starship Troopers ), a vampire who turned his son 20 years ago. Needing a partner, Van Helsing puts out an ad and picks up a Crips gangster member named Time Bomb (Gabriel Casseus), creating perhaps the goofiest vampire-hunting tag team in film history. "Do you believe in vampires?" Van Helsing first asks his young partner. "As long as you're writing the checks, I'll take out anyone," he replies. Steiger is wonderfully over the top (think Donald Pleasance in any of the Halloween sequels), and Elfman fills his vampire cast with other notable charismatic character actors, including Kim Cattrall ( Sex and the City ), Natasha Gregson Wagner (humorous as a trailer-trash vamp), and Udo Kier. Stra